Parenting can be difficult work, especially when the child misbehaves. Being aware of the pitfalls of parenting can help make it easier to raise a well-behaved child. Good parenting requires endurance, planning, and authoritative communication. To help parents raise a well-behaved child, experts recommend the following guidelines:
1. Work toward a goal-
Your child may see toys or food on TV and beg and nag you until you get them exactly what they want. Or you may use gifts to buy good behavior from your child. In these scenarios the child feels entitled and uses nagging and bad behavior as a means to getting their way. Instead, teach your child to work toward a goal, by saving their allowance and earning what you give them.
2. Plan ahead-
Your child may use explosive temper tantrums to get what they want. If you give in, the child will learn that screaming and yelling will get him what he wants. Instead, plan ahead, make an agreement with the child, and plan your response. Let the child know the behavior that is expected of them. For example, before going to the store, let them know what you're buying. If they have a temper tantrum in the store, demanding a toy or food, don't buy it for them. Instead, leave the store with your child.
3. Stand your ground-
Your child may push, beg and whine, over and over again, until they get what want. Or they may use one parent against the other to get what they want. If you give in, they'll learn that you won't stick to what you say. Share your reasoning with the child and have the endurance, strength and energy to stand your ground. Let the child know in advance that both mom and dad are in agreement with the decision.
4. Be authoritative-
Your child may talk back, use an inappropriate word, or participate in disrespectful behavior. You may get upset and lose control, using the same inappropriate language. This teaches the child the wrong way to deal with a situation when upset. Instead, stay cool and maintain control. For example, take money out of the child's allowance when they talk back or curse. This way the child will learn that there are consequences for their inappropriate behavior.
REFERENCES:
1. Kindlon, D. Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age. New York, NY: Miramax Books, 2003.
Posted by Elaine Gavalas on October 28, 2006 01:43 PM
